Here we go again. Just when I thought it was safe to go to sleep and stay asleep, I was once again very rudely awakened. Last night around midnight, one of the many daughters in this house decided that she needed to wake me up in order to ask me a very important question: "Are the tortillas in the fridge still good?"
Me: "Are you kidding me?"
Daughter: "Well, I looked at the expiration date on the package, but it was blurry."
Me: " What?"
Daughter: "I couldn't tell what it said, I don't have my contacts in."
Me: "That means it's way too late to be eating tortillas."
Daughter:"Can I go to the store to buy more?"
Me: " You mean go to the store for tortillas right now?"
Daughter: " I need tortillas."
Me: "Were you planning to make pajamas out of them?"
Daughter: "Mom..."
Me: "Daughter..."
Daughter: "Mmahomm."
Me: "Dauhhhghter."
Daughter: "Mom, yes or no?"
Me: "Yes or no what?"
Daughter: "What?"
Me: "Yes or no what?!"
Daughter: "Yes or no can I go to the store?"
Doug: "NO! No, you cannot go to the store, you cannot go anywhere and you cannot wake your mother and me up to ask about tortillas!"
Daughter: "Dad, this has nothing to do with you, I was asking mom."
Me: "Yeah Doug, this has nothing to do with you. This ridiculous conversation is just for mothers and daughters. You know nothing about the condition of a tortilla."
Doug: "Thank goodness."
Daughter: "Whatever, I'll just eat something else."
Me: "Why aren't you out hunting humans with the rest of the Vampires? They're the only ones who eat this late."
Daughter: "I wanted Mexican food." She says, and leaves the room.
Me: "Holy cow! I will never sleep in this house!"
Doug: " It smells like dog poop."
Me: "Oh for Pete's sake. Why do you think everything smells like dog poop? Did you brush your teeth?"
Doug: "What!? The dog pee'd on the sheets?!"
Me: "That is not what I said."
Doug: "Who's dead?"
Me: "Douglas!Go to sleep! You are so deaf! Geeze!"
Doug: "It doesn't smell like cheese, it smells like dog poop."
Me (laughing) : "You are sooo deaf."
Doug: "What?"
The end.
Thursday
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
