My husband Doug is mostly deaf in one ear, the result of a damaged ear drum when he was a kid. Despite this hearing loss, he refuses to do anything about it and insists that he can hear everything perfectly with the exception of the high-pitched female voice when she is in "nag-mode" as he calls it. I have dealt with Doug's handicap as best I can, however, it does create somewhat of a communication barrier at times. For example; Several months ago my mother called to tell me she had purchased some new drawer pulls and had several left over she was willing to give me if I needed them. I told her I didn't need them and we hung up."Who was that?" Asks Doug, who was sitting next to me,
"My Mom" I say,
"What did she need?" asks Doug,
"She wanted to know if I wanted any drawer pulls" I tell him,
"Mayo?" Doug asks, confused, "was she planning to make you a sandwich?"
This is when I usually just stare at him for a long time and then say something like; "How did you get 'mayo' out of that? DRAWER PULLS. Sheesh. You are so deaf..."
"What?" he responds, and gives me a sly grin.
These episodes are not uncommon. In fact, one morning as the family was eating breakfast, I had flipped on the T.V. and turned to the 'today' show. Kathy Lee Gifford was just being introduced as a new hostess for the show when Doug came into the kitchen,
"Hey," he says, "It's Kathy Lee Gifford, what's she doing these days?"
Me: "She's now on the Today show."
Doug: "She fell!? How'd she fall?"
Me: (louder this time) "She's now on the Today show."
Doug: "She fell off the space shuttle? What's she doing on the space shuttle?"
Six year old Suzannah: "I have pooh in my undies."
Me:"pooh in your undies?"
Suzannah:"Not the kind that eats honey, the kind that is brown and comes out of your b-"
Me interrupting:"Okay-"
Ten year old Brooks: "HAhhhaaahaaahaa!"
Teenage Dallas: "What?"
Doug: "What?"
Me: staring at Doug
Doug: Turning up the T.V. to find out how Kathy Lee fell off the space shuttle.
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