Deaf men wear plaid pajamas

It's Sunday, and since we don't have an early church meeting this morning I was enjoying a peaceful slumber. The only sound in the house was the soft hum of the air conditioning and the obnoxious "Ehh!Ehh!Ehh!" of Doug's cell phone alarm. Now, this happens every morning at around 6 a.m., and though I try to just follow Doug's lead and ignore the stinking thing, (because we really don't have to get up at 6 during the summer) after about thirty minutes it becomes impossible to ignore and I want to pop Doug on the head. I finally roll over and look at Doug for a long time with a perplexed expression. He doesn't feel the weight of my glare and just snores on as though he had not a care in the world. "Can you not hear that?" I finally ask. He doesn't respond
"Douglas" I say, louder.
"Hu?"
"Can you not hear that!?"
"Hear what?"
"Your dumb alarm!"
"Where is it?" He asks.
Now, this is what I just don't understand. He sets the alarm on his phone to go off at a time when he absolutely knows he isn't getting up, then he can't remember where he put his phone although it must be somewhere close because I can hear it. It's usually in his pants pocket, which have been left on the floor or in the closet somewhere but sometimes it's on the table right next to his side of the bed. Either way, he can't ever hear it and I always can.
"It's probably in your pants pocket again, it sounds a little muffled." I tell him.
He lays there for an eternally long time with his arm draped over his head, the alarm is still going. I think he's never gonna move. "Doug." I say. No response. "Douglas!"
"Hu?"
"For pete's sake man! Turn off your blasted alarm before I kill you!"
"Woman!" He says in his teasing voice and then slowly, slowly, so slowly you'd think he was a hundred years old,he sits up, wipes his sleepy eyeballs, pulls the blankets aside, dangles one leg over the side of the bed, waits, waits, waits,dangles the other leg over the side of the bed, waits,waits,waits, touches a big toe to the carpet...the alarm is still going off "Ehh!Ehh!Ehh!Ehh!"
"AARRGGH!" I yell as I jump out of bed. In a flash I am over on his side. I grab his pants from off the floor and cram my hand in the pocket, fish out the phone, fling it open and hit the button. Silent, I thrust the phone toward Doug who has just finished applying a second toe to the floor. He blinks at me, smiles, and gets back into bed. I stand there wide awake. "Good morning..." I say in a gruff voice.
"Goodnight my love, I love you." he says, and falls asleep.
I guess I'll take a shower.