The trouble with saving people's lives is that they might return the favor.

If we are to really get acquainted, there are a few things you need to know about my husband. First, he is twelve years my senior (which does not give him the right to boss me, but that's a story for another time.) I was just 21 years old when we got married. But I saw this tall, handsome guy at the gym one day and that was it, I was done.
The next thing you should know about Doug is that he'd already had a brief encounter with marriage before we'd ever met, bless his heart. His first marriage lasted less than five years, but produced a son that made the whole thing worth while. The most unfortunate part of his first marriage, for me anyway, is that it took quite awhile for the word to get out among his peers that he was no longer married to his former wife. Despite the fact that there were six years between his divorce and the time that we met, there were still those few people who knew Doug when he was married to his first wife that had never received the news that they'd divorced. You need to understand that Doug knows almost everybody on planet Earth. This I'm quite sure, is because he is more personable and friendly than anyone I've ever known. I'm not kidding when I say that we can't enter a store, go to a movie, a restaurant or on vacation to Florida without Doug running into someone he knows well enough to keep all of us waiting while they chit-chat. It's become the family joke, even my mother teases him about it.
Sometimes Doug runs into an old friend and gets so involved in catching up that he neglects to introduce me. I hate this because it usually forces me to introduce myself, which I will do rather than stand there like some stranger who's just invited herself to listen in on someones conversation. It wasn't this way when we were first married. It took certain experiences before I realized that if Doug wasn't going to tell people who I was, then I had to do it myself.
If you have been keeping up, you'll remember that I saved Doug's life one night. Well as luck would have it, while I was pregnant with a subsequent child, Doug got to return the favor.
You see, I was probably about seven months pregnant when one day we thought it would be nice to take the kids out for pizza. Now prepare yourselves, because we are going to enter a restaurant which means Doug will be running into someone he knows and this incident will lead to something very dreadful.
We walked into the restaurant and almost immediately Doug sees a long lost friend. They get talking and Doug forgets that I'm even there. I felt extra dumb because being seven months pregnant, you automatically feel ugly and fragile. This is a time when an otherwise assertive woman finds herself very uncomfortable being assertive, so rather than introduce myself I just walked away to attend to the children. I ordered the pizza, got the kids settled and kept looking over at Doug who had slowly found his way to the table while still yapping on with his buddy- who's family was seated across from us. These two were deeply engrossed in their conversation, but every time I looked up, Doug's friend would look at me with a most perplexed expression and it finally dawned on me what this guy must be wondering. This guy had known Doug when he was married to Allison and he hadn't seen him since before their divorce years earlier. He had no idea who I was. Imagine what this must have looked like to him, Doug there with this young pregnant woman and three little girls, clearly not Allison and their son. He didn't know what to think. When there was a slight break in the conversation and Doug finally turned around, I gave him the devil about it. "Why didn't you introduce me so this guy knows that I'm your wife? He keeps looking at me funny!" I whispered. Doug looked over and Saw his friend (We'll call him Dean) involved with his own family. "Well, he's busy with his family now." Doug says, not wanting to interrupt them. The pizza comes but Dean starts talking to Doug from across the table again, so Doug turns his attention away from us and starts into another lengthy discussion, again not taking the time to introduce me or his family. I'm starting to get upset and a little embarrassed as I see that Dean is obviously looking at me with eager anticipation, waiting for Doug to at last put his curiosity at rest. This is when things really get ugly. In a huff I nudge at Doug's leg under the table, a reminder that I am there and he needs to acknowledge it out loud. He only turns long enough to glance at me, and then responds to Dean's remark with a hearty laugh. The reminiscence goes on without my involvement and by now I am fuming. I pick up a slice of pizza and take a huge bite out of it, chopping down on it in anger. It's way too big, and there is far too much cheese to swallow and it goes down my throat in a lump and stays lodged there. I try to swallow hard, but it won't go down. It only takes a minute for me to realize that I am no longer able to breathe and I begin to panic. I stretch out my neck and try to spit it out, but it's stuck good. I try to cough, nothing. No sound even comes out of my mouth. I am choking, and all the while my husband is going on and on laughing and talking to his friend, paying no attention at all to what's happening right under his nose. I grab my throat in the "universal" choking sign and slide my chair back, finally catching the attention of my children. They start calling out "Dad!" while I begin slapping my hand down on the table to get him to notice me. I get the attention of Dean, who then points out to Doug that I am turning blue. Finally catching his attention, Doug jumps up and moves quickly around the table toward me. By now tears are streaming down my face. Doug gets behind me and locks his arms around my rib cage, under my chest and just above my pregnant belly. He gives me a squeeze, but nothing comes up. Another, nothing. The third time, he really puts some effort into it and pulls his fists hard up under my chest. The air forces the soggy pizza up from my throat and hurls it onto the table in front of us with a thud. Humiliated, I gasp for air and collapse back into the chair. I reach for a napkin to wipe my mouth and when I look up, I see the stares of nearly everyone in the room which just embarrasses me even more. I just want to get my children and go home. The mushy soggy mass that had been lodged in my throat was now in the middle of the table. Doug leans over my chair, "You okay?" he asks, putting a hand on my shoulder. I'm so full of emotions and hormones I can barley speak but I manage to spit out a few raspy words under my breath; "You make me sit here like a dummy while you yammer on with your long lost boyfriend who has no idea that you are remarried and you don't even bother to introduce me. Now everyone in here is looking at me and that gross wad of pizza. I'm a complete spectacle with snot and tears running down my face but your friend still has no idea who I am!" Doug looks up and realizes that Dean is watching us and It finally occurs to him that I'm right. "By the way Dean," he says, pointing at me, "this is my wife, Stephanie."